


Snarking at the MMBN Script

by Shadow_of_Nyx



Series: Snarking at the MMBN Script [1]
Category: Rockman.EXE | Mega Man Battle Network
Genre: Ballad is so snarky, Gen, Snark, making fun of the game script, me having fun, more tags and characters will be added as needed, the chapters will get longer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-14 01:24:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12996795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_of_Nyx/pseuds/Shadow_of_Nyx
Summary: Me making fun of the script through an OC.





	1. Day 1

_After the school bell rings_

**Dekao** : Aw, man, class is starting! After class, Netto; be there!

 **Ballad** : Where, exactly?

_  
Finding the missing program for Glyde_

**Program-kun** : Waaah! Waaah! I can’t find my way hoooome!! Glyde! Come find me!

 **Rockman** : Netto-kun! This must be the lost program!

 **Ballad** : Well, it is crying for Glyde to come find it.

 

_After the oven catches fire_

**Hinoken** : You’re pretty smart. Me and my Navi do good work, huh? Sorry, but you gotta join your Navi! You can’t escape!

 **Ballad** : …Why would he call his victim after setting their house on fire? That’s like…the opposite of what you’re supposed to do after attacking someone.

_After Fireman is deleted_

**Rockman** : …You’re worried, aren’t you? About the WWW…

 **Ballad** : Well, it’s not like they attacked his home and tried to burn him and his mother alive or something.


	2. Day 2

_Email from Yaito about roll call_

**Yaito’s email** : I called your name for you in homeroom so you owe me one!

 **Ballad** : It’s amazing how oblivious Mariko-sensei is, to not notice a student is missing in the _front row_.

_Sneaking into the classroom_

**Rockman** : Looks like everyone is still in homeroom…

 **Netto** : (Sneak time!) *pit pat…pit pat…* (Yeah! I did it!)

 **Ballad** : You sit in the front row, that should not have worked!

_After WWW’s re-education program starts_

**Wily** : We will now announce the real goal of our plan; to control the net! The WWW’s true plan is to start a war: the EndGame! We will take control of the military nets and all other nets! The only cure for this rotten world is deletion!!!

 **Ballad** : Do they want to control the net or destroy the world?

 

 **Meiru** : Why? Why would they do that?

 **Ballad** : Because they’re evil? Crazy? Take your pick.

 

_After Gutsman is deleted_

**Yaito** : Okay, Netto! You’re up! Show us your stuff!

 **Ballad** : This is a terrorist brainwashing program, not a video game.

 

_After plugging Rockman into the blackboard_

**Rockman** : The net looks so different! The WWW must have done this!

 **Ballad** : What was your first clue?

_Encountering Stoneman preventing the Metroline from opening_

**Rockman** : Why would you want to do a thing like that?

 **Stoneman** : To control the net!

 **Ballad** : …How does blocking a train give you the ability to control the net?


	3. Day 3

_Before class starts_

**Yaito** : Don’t tell anyone but a kid from B class is missing! And I smell a rat!

 **Ballad** : “Don’t tell anyone?” I’m pretty sure his class has noticed he’s missing.

 **Yaito** : It’s a secret, okay?

 **Ballad** : From who???

 

_After Mariko-sensei tells the class that the town’s water has stopped_

**Mariko-sensei** : I’m afraid we’ll have to cancel class for today…Wait! Don’t walk around too much, you’ll get thirsty!

 **Ballad** : Then, why did you make your students come in? You could have sent out an email telling them not to come into class, saving them two trips.

 

_Email from Yaito about the missing kid_

**Yaito’s email** : It turns out that kid missing from B Class was kidnapped! Netto, you have to help us look for him, ok?

 **Ballad** : …How did you find this out?

 

_After meeting Enzan for the first time_

**Rockman** : But, wait, did you hear that? He’s an official netbattler! They fight crime! They can netbattle anywhere they want! Isn’t that cool? I wonder what kind of NetNavis they use…

 **Ballad** : You seem more excited about it than Netto.

 

_Needing an ID to go down to the Waterworks floor_

**Netto** : I know! I’ll just borrow this for a bit. *takes Yuichiro’s ID card*

 **Ballad** : It really should not be this easy to get into restricted areas.

 

_Speaking to Dr. Hikawa_

**Netto** : Akihara Town’s water supply has stopped…

 **Dr. Hikawa** : Yeah, I know.

 **Rockman** : Looks like he knows.

 **Ballad** : Really? I didn’t get that impression at all.

 

 **Dr. Hikawa** : It would have been bad if it were a WWW scheme…

 **Ballad** : That’s…oddly specific for it just being a bug.

 

 **Dr. Hikawa** : As long as you’re here, why don’t you take a tour?

 **Ballad** : Weren’t you just griping about this being a staff-only area?

_After exploring the Waterworks area_

**Rockman** : …Let’s hide out and check the net once everyone leaves…

 **Ballad** : Aren’t you supposed to be the responsible one?

 

_Encountering Blues in the Waterworks net_

**Enzan** : Get in our way and we’ll have to delete you, kid!

 **Netto** : You can’t just delete people who get in your way!

 **Enzan** : I can, and easily at that…

 **Ballad** : Do your superiors know you go around threatening civilians?

 

 **Enzan** : I’ll deal with you later.

 **Ballad** : Is that another threat? Do you not know how to be civil?

 

_Finding Colorman in the Waterworks net_

**Colorman** : I’m just a friendly neighborhood Navi!

 **Ballad** : Yeah, you don’t look shady at all.

 

_Getting a call from Enzan after finding the school pond’s water is purple_

**Enzan** : You’ve done it now!

 **Ballad** : How did you even get this number?

 

_After finding the kidnapped Hikawa in the car_

**Hikawa** : Tell my dad I’m fine, okay?

 **Ballad** : Because he’ll just take the word of some kid, as opposed to his own child coming along to show that he’s okay.

 

_Inspecting the faucet missing its handle_

**Rockman** : I’ll bet we can use the handle we got from Hikawa!

 **Ballad** : Really? What gave you that idea?

 

_Coming across Blues and Iceman in the Waterworks net_

**Blues** : You’re late! It’s all over…

 **Enzan** : Hey! I told you not to interfere!

 **Ballad** : I’m getting mixed messages.

 

 **Rockman** : Wait! These two aren’t the real enemy!

 **Enzan** : How can you say that…after so many people have suffered because of them!

 **Ballad** : …I thought the tainted water was our fault…I’m confused.

 

_After Colorman plugs out_

**Netto** : Enzan!

 **Enzan** : Who are you and how do you know my name?

 **Ballad** : You introduced yourself: “I am an official netbattler, Ijuin Enzan!”

 

 **Netto** : Why were they after the Aqua program?

 **Enzan** : Find out for yourself!

 **Ballad** : Considering we’re the ones who stopped the last few WWW members, he raises a valid point: we’ll probably be able to figure out their plans before the officials do.

 

_After reuniting Dr. Hikawa and his son_

**Rockman** : Ahh…family!

 **Netto** : Yeah, you’re right…

 **Rockman** : Huh? I was expecting the usual sarcasm…you homesick, Netto-kun?

 **Ballad** : ...I get the feeling you don’t know what “homesick” means, Rockman.


	4. Day 4

_In Netto’s computer_

**Rockman** : Netto-kun, I’m just about finished homepage maintenance!

 **Netto** : Yeah…

 **Rockman** : I work and work and all you can say is “yeah?”

 **Ballad** : Considering how lackluster his response was, he’s probably distracted; are you really complaining about him being distracted?

 

_After Meiru is late getting to the Metroline station_

**Meiru** : Sorry, sorry! Don’t look so mad!

 **Netto** : Hmph, you mean like you are every time I’m late?

 **Meiru** : Bygones!

 **Ballad** : Why can’t he be mad at you’re being late?

 

 **Meiru** : Sorry, but you can go ahead to Densan Town!

 **Netto** : What? Why did I have to wait for you, then?

 **Ballad** : That’s a good question: you’re able to make phone calls and send emails from your PET, so why did you make him wait for you?

 

_Email from Meiru, after walking around Densan Town a bit_

**Meiru’s email** : I’m free now, so I’ll take the bus to Densan Town Block1.

 **Ballad** : Oh, _now_ you use the email on your PET.

 

_Enzan’s email on the Battle Mail List_

**Enzan’s email** : And there was a civilian NetNavi on the works’ server…an elementary school student’s! Some kinda wannabe hero?

 **Ballad** : I like how you didn’t mention threatening to delete said civilian Navi; did you forget that part?

_After going to where we’re supposed to meet Meiru_

**Rockman** : Meiru-chan isn’t here yet, is she?

 **Ballad** : Do you see her anywhere, Rockman?

 

_After getting the WWW email for their program_

**Netto** : Those WWW meanies! Kicking people when they’re down!

 **Rockman** : I bet it’s their virus that’s bugging the traffic lights!

 **Ballad** : At this point, I think your name should be changed to “Captain Obvious.”

 

_After convincing everyone to not buy the WWW’s program_

**Madoi** : That’s right! I’ve been looking at your personal files…

 **Ballad** : …Personal files? Where would you find that kind of information?

 

_Getting a call from Meiru_

**Netto** : Who is it!? Hello?

 **Meiru** : Netto! It’s me!

 **Ballad** : Hey, look at that, she knows how to use the PET’s phone, too!

 

 **Meiru** : Help! I’m stuck in a runaway bus! All the lights are green and we keep speeding up!

 **Ballad** : I question her logic to call her friend for help in a situation like this.

 

_Getting a call from Madoi_

**Madoi** : So, you miss your girlfriend yet?

 **Netto** : So, you were behind it all along!

 **Ballad** : I see Rockman’s penchant for pointing out the obvious is spreading.

 

 **Madoi** : I forgot to mention the virus I put in the bus gas program! It makes the gas go backwards and then…it’s BOOM time!

 **Ballad** : It would have taken a lot of foresight to be able to set that up just in case _we_ happened to thwart your first scheme; were you just expecting to blow up a bus full of people today?

 

_Getting an email from Meiru_

**Meiru’s email** : I heard the bus is going to blow up!

 **Ballad** : I both question how you heard about that and why she would tell anyone about the potential explosion; you’d think she would want to leave it as a “surprise.”

 

 **Meiru’s email** : Netto! Help!

 **Ballad** : What, exactly, do you expect him to do? He’s already pushing himself to stop the bus, he can’t take care of the virus at the same time.

 

_After getting a call from Madoi, saying the bus was going to explode_

**Rockman** : Uh…it didn’t explode?

 **Ballad** : Really? I didn’t notice.

 

 **Colorman** : I’m sorry, Madoi! There was this cute little Navi there but don’t worry, I’ll delete her right away! See?

 **Roll** : Heeelp!

 **Rockman** : Roll-chan? Is that you?

 **Ballad** : Do you know any other Navis who fill the damsel-in-distress role in your life?

 

 **Netto** : Meiru-chan! Meiru-chan!? Are you okay?

 **Meiru** : I’m fine for now! But…Roll’s in trouble! Quick! Plug in Rockman!

 **Ballad** : There are these things called Battle Chips, Meiru; you’ve heard of them, right?

_After plugging Rockman into the bus_

**Colorman** : Now, now, I’ll delete you soon enough…Heheh! But first I’ll watch you squirm a little!

 **Roll** : Help! Heeeelp!

 **Ballad** : I thought you said you’d delete her right away; you already had time to watch her squirm.

 

 **Rockman** : So, you’re Colorman, huh? Let Roll go! I’m the one you want!

 **Colorman** : Sure thing, I’ll just delete you first and delete her later!

 **Ballad** : You could have just deleted her first, you clearly had the upper hand.

 

_After Colorman is deleted_

**Rockman** : Are you okay?

 **Roll** : Uh…oww…I think so.

 **Ballad** : Why are you even still here? Meiru should have plugged you out as soon as you were safe.

 

_Netto and Meiru talking outside of the bus_

**Netto** : Geez, all the trouble I go through…

 **Rockman** : Now, Netto-kun, be nice!

 **Ballad** : He just ran all over Densan Town, trying to stop a runaway bus _and_ keep it from exploding. You expect him to be in a good mood after all of that?

 

 **Meiru** : No, Netto’s right. Thank you, Netto…*moves closer*

 **Netto** : H-hey! What’s the big idea coming up close like that!

 **Ballad** : This is what I like to call a “Personal Space Invader.”

**Rockman** : Oh, Netto-kun…you’re blushing!

 **Ballad** : I blush too when people invade my personal space; it usually means I’m uncomfortable.

 

 **Meiru** : Hee hee! Well, now, let's go get Yaito-chan's present! C'mon, Netto! Let's go!

 **Ballad** : It's good to know almost getting killed by a terrorist doesn't dampen your love of shopping.


	5. Day 5

_Email from Papa_

**Yuichiro’s email** : Netto, how have you been?

 **Ballad** : You don’t watch the news, do you?

 

_Email from Battle Mail List_

**Email** : The Densan City autodrive system’s been hacked into!

 **Ballad** : That was days ago…where have you been?

 

 **Email** : I heard the operator who solved the prob wasn’t a NetBattler! Hard to imagine a civilian handling such a high-level incident.

 **Ballad** : Well, _somebody_ had to take care of it.

 

_Telling Mama about the dinner party_

**Netto** : Hey, Mama! Papa’s invited us to a party!

 **Haruka** : How wonderful! How sweet of him to think of his family at such a busy time!

 **Ballad:** That didn’t sound vaguely resentful at all.

 

_After Mama leaves to get dressed_

**Netto** : …Man, if I had to wait for her, I’d never get to eat…

 **Rockman** : C’mon, Netto-kun, I know you just can’t wait to see your dad…

 **Ballad** : Are you really teasing him about wanting to see his father? Whom he rarely gets to see?

 

_Getting the WWW PIN from Dr. Hikawa_

**Dr. Hikawa** : I was told to use it to do whatever was needed to complete the operation.

 **Ballad** : I like how they forgot they gave a password to someone who no longer works for them and didn’t bother to remove it from their systems.

_Talking to Enzan in the lobby_

**Enzan** : …You again? What are you doing in the SciLab?

 **Ballad** : We were invited.

 

_After Count Elec causes a blackout_

**NPC** : No good! The power won’t turn on! The generator…someone go check the power plant below us!

 **Ballad** : Shouldn’t there be a backup generator for this kind of situation?

 

_Encountering Elecman in the power generator area_

**Elecman** : Who R U?

 **Ballad** : Eww, chatspeak.

 

 **Rockman** : Electricity program?

 **Elecman** : ? You’re not a NetBattler come to protect it?

 **Ballad** : No, we’re actually competent.

 

_Shutting off the generator, to stop Elecman from healing in battle_

**Netto** : *getting shocked while pulling down the lever* Aaaaaand stay down!! ... Rockman! Quick! Let’s get him while we can!

 **Ballad** : How are you still conscious?

 

_After Elecman is defeated and Blues plugs in_

**Blues** : Darn…too late…it took too long to break the plug-in protection…

 **Ballad** : Really? It only took us about two seconds.

 

 **Blues** : …If you amateurs hadn’t got in the way, our plan to lure in the WWW with fake data would have succeeded.

 **Ballad** : Excuse us for being more concerned with making sure nobody suffocated while you took your time with that plan.

 

 **Enzan** : Blues, delete that Navi. They’ve caused us enough trouble.

 **Ballad** : Is this really the time for you to throw a tantrum?

 

_After defeating Blues_

**Blues** : How can this be!? A civilian Navi beat a NetBattler? Never!

 **Ballad** : Considering how easy it for a civilian to get the licenses, you really shouldn’t be so shocked.

~~(Ballad, get off the fourth wall, we’re not at the second game, yet.)~~

 

 **Rockman** : ‘Cause you’re an official Navi, you can carry your own battle chips--so you can fight alone!

 **Blues** : That’s right…and I’ve fought alone every time! And I’ve never lost! Not once!

 **Ballad** : Well, there’s a first time for everything.

 

 **Rockman** : …The better friends you are with your operator, the better you fight!

 **Blues** : Friends?

 **Ballad** : …I spaced out for a moment; what were we talking about again?

 

_After restoring the power and returning to the party_

**Haruka** : Netto! Where were you? I…I was so worried!

 **Netto** : Sorry, Mama! But we’re fine, see?

 **Ballad** : We just fell down a dust chute and battled both a terrorist and an official, but we’re fine.

 

_Email from Papa_

**Yuichiro’s email** : That was a long power out! Is everybody OK?

 **Ballad** : Why did you wait until now to ask if we’re okay?


	6. Day 6

 

_Email from Papa_

**Yuichiro’s email** : Dear Netto, you’re friends with that Enzan boy, aren’t you?

**Ballad** : …. yeah…friends…

 

**Yuichiro’s email** : …Perhaps his work as a NetBattler isn’t going well?

**Ballad** : Gee, I wonder why.

 

_Finding Enzan in Densan Town_

**Girl** : You’re calling me a WWW member?? How rude!!

**Enzan** : If you’re a WWW member, then you know about the Undernet! Tell me, now!!

**Ballad** : Do you normally do this kind of interrogation in public? While yelling? Where everyone can see and hear you?

 

**Netto** : What’s your problem? I heard you were having problems, so I just came to help!

**Enzan** : Why would I ever need your help?

**Ballad** : Because we actually managed to defeat a handful of WWW members?

 

_After getting the Hig Memo and finding the access point in Internet Area 4_

**Netto** : Rockman! I’ll bet that’s the access to the Undernet!

**Ballad** : Well, it is labeled with a very obvious “W.”

 

_Getting an email from Higure about the WWW’s server locks_

**Higure’s email** : There are 3 locks, each a higher level than the last, m'kay? Unfortunately, I don't have any idea how to open them. But one of my old WWW friends is at the SciLab now. He regrets having worked for WWW now, and he might help you!

**Ballad** : You couldn’t have said this earlier?

 

_Getting the Memos from the scientist, Yuriko-sensei, and old man_

**Scientist** : Many people like Higure and myself quit the WWW…Find two more memos from others who have quit the WWW.

**Yuriko-sensei** : …I’ve been playing a fool to hide from the WWW…Sure, I know how to undo some of the locks.

**Old Man** : I was a member at the beginning, as Wily’s assistant! Yes, I know how to release the Undernet lock.

**Ballad** : Just…how did they leave so many loose ends unchecked???

 

**Yuriko-sensei** : I’ve been waiting for a NetBattler like you to appear…I suppose that you’re ready, now.

**Old Man** : Well, I guess you are strong enough! Perhaps the one to stop the EndGame will be you, Netto…

**Ballad** : No pressure, right?

 

_At the entrance to Internet Area 9_

**Heel Navi** : Those WWW jerks went and encoded this area! Only high-ranking WWW dudes can get in!

**Ballad** : High-ranking members…as in the ones that left…with the keys to the encoded area…

 

_Encountering Bombman_

**Bombman** : ? How did U get in here? And who R U?

**Ballad** : Bleh, more chatspeak.

 

_Going to see Papa about the WWW address_

**Yuichiro** : Did you talk to Enzan?

**Netto** : Talk to that jerk?!

**Yuichiro** : Hmm, did you have a fight?

**Ballad** : *flashback to Densan Town* Well…

 

**Yuichiro** : He _can_ be hard to deal with…

**Ballad** : HA! *snicker* You have no idea!

 

**Yuichiro** : Netto!! Where did you get this?!

**Ballad** : The internet…where we get all this kind of information.

 

**Yuichiro** : This may help stop the war! Of course, I’ll have to tell Enzan; that okay?

**Ballad** : Why do you feel the need to ask your son’s permission?

 

**Netto** : Ummm…. I guess…can you tell me the location, too?

**Yuichiro** : …No

**Netto** : Why not?! _I’m_ the one who defeated the WWW! And with the Rockman program _you_ created!! Please, let us help finish the job!

**Yuichiro** : …Finish the job…okay, okay, I give in.

**Ballad** : Well, that bout of parental authority didn’t last long, did it?

 

**Yuichiro** : Rockman could be deleted and your actions could trigger the war! Can you take that responsibility?

**Ballad** : Can you handle the responsibility that your son could get hurt or killed? Because your resolve to keep him safe and away from this kind of thing was about as strong as wet tissue paper?


	7. Day 7

_Getting an email from Papa about the WWW hideout_

**Yuichiro’s email** : I’ve found the site of the WWW Lab deep in the mountains! But there’s no roads, no railways, and no airport either.

 **Ballad** : Of course not, that would be too obvious.

 

 **Yuichiro’s email** : And it would take too long to walk there, I’d reckon.

 **Ballad** : Don’t you mean ‘hike?’

 

 **Yuichiro’s email** : But WWW agents are getting into Densan City somehow…

 **Ballad** : I say teleportation.

 

_In the living room, when Wily’s on TV_

**Wily** : I am pleased to announce that the WWW master plan is entering the final phase!

 **Ballad** : I question your need to announce this; why not just spring it on everyone before they have time to react?

 

_Trying to leave the house after the announcement_

**Haruka** : Netto?! Where are you going at a time like this?

 **Ballad** : Sorry, Mama! Papa gave us permission to fight the terrorists and possibly start a war…somehow…be back for dinner!

 

_Finding Higure’s WWW Pass_

**Rockman** : A Metroline pass? The WWW and the Metroline…something fishy is going on here! The pass is expired; I bet Higure was using it for the WWW.

 **Ballad** : Thank you, Captain Obvious.

 

_Finding the secret Metroline under the school statue_

**Netto** : ? What was that noise?

 **Rockman** : It came from below us! I wonder…

 **Netto** : The mystery Metroline?!

 **Ballad** : How did nobody hear this until now? Also, why at the school? I would think suspicious people coming out of the school would have been noticed by now.

 

_Inside the secret Metroline station_

**Rockman** : Huh? Did you just hear Meiru-chan’s voice?

 **Ballad** : Considering we were behind a statue and a working fountain, as well as listening to the train go by, I’m surprised you heard her. I’m also curious how she managed to see us from behind the statue.

~~(Ballad, get off the fourth wall.)~~

 

_Showing Papa the WWW Pass_

**Netto** : Papa, can you make this work again?

 **Yuichiro** : Sure, we just need to reset the expiration date *beep* *beep* *boop* Like I said, piece of cake!

 **Ballad** : …This is a card. What did you do to it?

 

_Papa gets a call from Mama ~~(Wait, Ballad, you’re not supposed to be here!)~~_

**Yuichiro** : Dr. Hikari speaking. Oh, hello honey! Yes, Netto was just here.

 **Haruka** : I’m worried…I think those two are in trouble.

 **Ballad** : I mean, we _did_ just run out after an announcement from a madman on TV.

 

 **Yuichiro** : Don’t worry, I’ll look out for them…

 **Ballad** : By telling us where the terrorist base is, letting us go there, and placing all the fault of a possible war on your son’s shoulders.

~~(Ballad, please…)~~

 

 **Yuichiro** : …I’ll never let what happened last time happen again…

 **Ballad** : By _not_ keeping your son away from the people who would try to kill him.

~~(Ballad, stop)~~

 

 **Haruka** : Honey…I’m sorry to have called you at work.

 **Yuichiro** : No, I’m sorry for not being at home more…

 **Haruka** : Hmm…that is true. But it’s okay! I’ll be fine by myself here!

 **Ballad** : That wasn’t passive aggressive or anything.

~~(Ballad~)~~

 

_Getting to the WWW’s hideout_

**Rockman** : We…we made it!

 **Netto** : So, this is the WWW’s lab, huh?

 **Ballad** : *sees purple water* They need to fix their water filtration system.

 

_Finding Higure, Yuriko-sensei, and the Old Man tied up_

**Rockman** : It’s Yuriko-sensei! And the old man!

 **Ballad** : Just…just going to ignore Higure? He’s there too, you know.

 

_Plugging into the first locked door_

**Netto** : Rockman! There’s got to be a program locking this door!

 **Ballad** : I see Rockman has successfully infected you with his talent for pointing out the obvious.

 

_Coming to the firewall blocking the lock program_

**Ballad** : *Looking up* Did you seriously just call it a firewall?

~~(What have I told you about breaking the fourth wall?)~~

 

 **Rockman** : Argh! Not enough ice blocks…

 **Netto** : I can see the lock program right there!

 **Ballad** : Well, it’s not an actual…fire…wall…you could still shoot the lock program and destroy it…I need a bath, now.

 

_Getting to the lock program guarded by a high-level passcode_

**Higure** : Numbers are no problem for Numberman!

 **Ballad** : Well, I would hope not.

 

_After Dekao and Gutsman help with the fourth door_

**Netto** : …I wonder how you all knew to come here…?

 **Ballad** : I wonder how they all got here in the first place; there’s only one way to get here and we have the only means of accomplishing that.

 

_Finding the door behind Wily’s portrait_

**Rockman** : Netto-kun! It’s a secret door!

 **Ballad** : … *sigh*

 

_Getting to the end of the fifth door_

**Netto** : What are you all doing here?

 **Meiru** : I saw you at the school entrance and I told everyone, so we all came to help out!

 **Ballad** : So, how’d you get past the WWW Metroline security without a pass?

 

 **Netto** : …Man, I was doing fine by myself…

 **Meiru** : Yeah right!

 **Ballad** : Honestly, the only one we really would have had trouble with is the passcode door and Higure and Numberman were already here to help us with that one.

 

 **Meiru** : Roll, roll out!

 **Ballad** : Is she a Transformer now?

 

 **Roll** : Roll Flash!!! *a panel appears*

 **Rockman** : Thanks, Roll-chan!

 **Ballad** : There is literally nothing blocking the lock program, you could have shot it from where you were.

 

 **Rockman** : Now, Netto-kun, thank Meiru-chan.

 **Ballad** : Actually, don’t; ask her how she and the others got here because that’s really bugging me.

 

 **Meiru** : Netto…I was so worried…*sniff*

 **Ballad** : We’re in the middle of the enemy’s base this really isn’t the time to get emotional.

 

_After Magicman attacks Rockman with Dream Magic and is deleted by Blues_

**Blues** : Grr…Too late?

 **Ballad** : I’m getting a sense of déjà vu.

 

_Getting a call from Papa_

**Yuichiro** : You can still save Rockman!

 **Netto** : But! He’s not responding…

 **Yuichiro** : Apply the Saito.bat to Rockman, there may still be time. But, before you use Saito.bat, I have to tell you something.

 **Ballad** : Is this really the time for exposition?

 

 **Netto** : I’ll do anything if it might save Rockman!

 **Yuichiro** : Then, listen…about 10 years ago…

 **Ballad** : Did you forget that _Rockman’s dying_?!

 

 **Yuichiro** : …So, I changed Rockman.EXE’s DNA by 0.01%. If you use Saito.bat, that 0.01% will disappear…

 **Netto** : …You mean Rockman will be born again…as my twin?

 **Yuichiro** : Correct.

 **Ballad** : He’ll still have all his memories and personality with a very _slight_ change to his coding…how does that make him the same as Netto’s dead brother?

 

 **Netto** : But, Saito…I’ll lose Rockman…

 **Ballad** : You’ll lose him if you don’t use Saito.bat.

 

 **Yuichiro:** Remember, if your DNA is 100% the same, you will be affected by whatever affects your Navi. And the reverse is true too!

 **Ballad:** Under certain circumstances, anyway; not really all the time, like he implies.

( ~~I give up~~ )

 

 **Yuichiro:** Netto, if you truly think you can beat the WWW…

 **Ballad:** Well, no one else is stepping up to the plate.

  **Yuichiro:** …I think Saito will sense that and he’ll come back to help!

 **Ballad:** He’s a computer program! He’ll come back anyway because you applied a patch to him!

 

 **Netto:** Ok! I’ll use Saito.bat!

 **Ballad:** Finally! It’s not like he was slowly dying while we were waiting for all the exposition to be revealed.

 

 **Netto:** Saito! Come fight by my side!

 **Ballad:** You’re taking this ‘unknown sibling’ thing pretty well.

 

_After Saito.bat is applied and Rockman gets up_

**Rockman:** ? What happened to me?

 **Ballad:** You died, there was some exposition, and then you were better!

 

 **Netto:** Saito! It’s you!

 **Rockman:** Netto-kun? You called me “Saito?”

 **Ballad:** It’s weird how well he’s taking this revelation, isn’t it?

 

 **Netto:** Saito…So, how do I operate you now, I wonder?

 **Rockman:** Just be yourself! And I’ll be myself, Rockman!

 **Ballad:** See? Even he denies being Saito.

 

_Going into the room with Wily’s rocket_

**Wily:** *puts virus into rocket* Ha ha ha ha!! Once I press this button: bye bye, world!

 **Ballad:** …That…that’s a…computer program…how is it…?

 

 **Wily:** Dr. Hikari may have kicked me out of his little lab but I now get my revenge!!

 **Ballad:** By killing everyone? Isn’t that a little extreme?

 

 **Netto:** The EndGame is revenge against my family? Why!?

 **Ballad:** And why does it include killing _everybody_?

 

 **Wily:** Hmm, shall I tell you? Thirty years ago…

 **Ballad:** Oh, no, more exposition.

 

 **Wily:** In order to win an international competition, our country had to pick one of our projects to fund. After long debate...They canceled my robot research! I couldn't believe it! My research was vital! Vital! I had no place to turn to, and so I left the lab. That's why I'm mad! If it wasn't for Hikari...! So, I made the WWW to get back at him! He made this world what it is and now I'll destroy it!

 **Netto:** But he didn’t cancel your research! It’s not his fault!

 **Wily:** Hah! That’s what he said, too!

 **Ballad:** Well, you did just say that it was the _country_ that decided to fund his research. So, why is this directed at our family again?

 

 **Wily:** You’ll never understand how I feel! Never!

 **Ballad:** Well, no, I don’t think we’ll ever figure out how the _country’s_ decision is somehow _Grandpa’s_ fault…

 

_After defeating the LifeVirus_

**Computer:** Warning! Warning! Virus leak! All systems malfunctioning! Self-destruct sequence activated!

 **Ballad:** …But…how? We defeated one virus…that was in the real world…I think…

**Wily:** B-but! M-my precious WWW laboratory!!

 **Ballad:** If it’s so precious, why did you program a _self-destruct sequence_?!

 

_Fleeing the exploding base_

**Meiru:** Netto!

 **Enzan:** Netto! Are you okay?

 **Netto:** Hey, guys!

 **Ballad:** Don’t mind the explosions.

 

 **Enzan:** And the LifeVirus?

 **Netto:** History!

 **Ballad:** Like we will be, if, you know, we _don’t get out of here_!

**Netto:** Where’s everyone else?

 **Enzan:** They got away to safety!

 **Ballad:** And you two decided to hang around because…?

 

 **Netto:** Great! Now, let’s scram!

 **Ballad:** Why weren’t you doing that in the first place?

 **Netto:** Hurry! The place is gonna blow!

 **Ballad:** You say, as you casually stroll out of the base.

 

_Outside Netto’s house_

**Yuichiro:** Good job, Netto…and Saito…I mean Rockman!

 **Ballad:** Well, let that cat out of the bag.

 

 **Haruka:** Oh, I’m so glad the two of you are okay!

 **Netto:** Sorry, Mama.

 **Ballad:** You’re strangely calm about the fact that your husband let your only living son go to a terrorist base.

 

 **Haruka:** Well, I never thought raising two boys was going to be easy!

 **Ballad:** You raised one; the other died as an infant.

 

 **Haruka:** Isn’t that right, Honey?

 **Yuichiro:** Heh…they couldn’t have done it without you. Thanks.

 **Haruka:** They couldn’t have done it without us, you mean.

 **Ballad:** Well, we couldn’t have done it without you not knowing that Papa just let us go after the bad guys and placing all blame of a war on our shoulders.

 

 **Meiru:** Heh heh, your mom and dad sure get along well, Netto.

 **Ballad:** Because they don’t sound like they’re about to argue or something.

 

 **Meiru:** Maybe we could learn from them…

 **Ballad:** I mean, if you want to be stuck at home while your husband is at work for days on end and raising your child all by yourself…yeah, that sounds like the type of relationship you should aim for.

 

 **Netto:** Huh? What are you talking about? We’re just friends!

 **Rockman:** Netto-kun, Netto-kun, Netto-kun…

 **Roll:** He really is dense, isn’t he?

 **Rockman:** That’s right, Roll!

 **Roll:** You said it, Rock!

 **Ballad:** He’s eleven with little-to-no interest in romance; why are you trying to force this idea on him?

 

 **Meiru:** Look…even Roll and Rockman are in the mood!

 **Ballad:** What mood? The one where they make fun of Netto for being an eleven-year-old kid? Isn’t that bullying?

 

 **Meiru:** I’ve had it with you, Netto! After I was so nice…

 **Ballad:** This is emotional manipulation.

 

 **Meiru:** I shouldn’t have rescued you at all!

 **Ballad:** Again, the most challenging part of all those puzzles was the one that Numberman solved and he was already there.

 

 **Netto:** ??? I don’t get it! What am I doing wrong??

 **Dekao:** *whistles* Yowsas!

 **Yaito:** Woo! Woo! Meiru-chan and Netto, up in a tree…

 **Ballad:** Don’t encourage her; this is how toxic relationships start.

 

 **Netto:** Meiru-chan and…Huh? Meiru-chan, are you…Do you…?

 **Meiru:** Isn’t it obvious!? Really!

 **Ballad:**  Yes, it's obvious you want a relationship similar to his parents; why do you think he's not acknowledging your attempt to flirt?

 

 **Yaito:** Don’t deny it, Netto…

 **Netto:** Grr! That’s it! This conversation is over!

 **Ballad:** So far, the only part of the conversation that makes sense.

 

 **Netto:** Just, thanks for rescuing me, you two!

 **Ballad:** Even though, again, they weren’t necessary.

 

 **Dekao:** Dekao always pays his debts! Don’t mention it…

 **Ballad:** Did you owe him something?

 

 **Netto:** Thanks, Dekao, you’re a true friend.

 **Yaito:** That’s right…you need a little more practice, though, Dekao.

 **Ballad:** Well, that comment came out of nowhere.

 

 **Enzan:** Well, now…aren’t we all the happy bunch, now?

 **Ballad:** Trying really hard to be an asshole, aren’t you?

 

 **Netto:** Enzan…thanks, you really helped out, too.

 **Enzan:** No need to thank me. In fact, you made me look pretty bad…

 **Ballad:** You’re actually pretty good at doing that by yourself.

 **Enzan:** Because you did all the work!

 **Ballad:** Well, at least you admit you were mostly useless.

 

 **Netto:** Heh…grumpy as ever, I see…but, I couldn’t have stopped the WWW if you hadn’t helped. Thank you!

 **Enzan:** Yeah, well…thanks accepted, this time.

 **Ballad:** Do you really need to be so rude to someone who’s genuinely trying to thank you?

 **Enzan:** But next time something happens, you leave the fighting up to me and Blues!

 **Ballad:** Well, if you actually step up to the plate next time…and also in the area…maybe we’ll consider it.

 

 **Netto:** Hey, we’ll be right by your side! Right, Rockman?

 **Ballad:** Or just take care of everything…again…because a majority of the NetBattlers are useless.

 **Netto:** Ah, sorry…I mean, if you still want to, um…Saito?

 **Ballad:** We’re just going to casually refer to him as “Saito?” Even though he referred to himself earlier as “Rockman?”

 

 **Rockman:** Rockman’s the name, and I’m with you all the way! As a team, Netto-kun, we’re unstoppable!

 **Netto:** Yeah…right!

 **Rockman:** Oh, wait! Just one thing…from now on…you’re getting up by yourself in the morning! Got it?

 **Ballad:** Well, there goes that feeling of camaraderie…isn’t that literally part of your job?

 

 **Dog house:** *ahoooga* *ahoooga*

 **Haruka:** What? There can’t be a crook here, now…The alarm system must be buggy again! Darn old thing…

 **Dog house:** *ahoooga*

 **Rockman:** Netto-kun! We’ve got a job to do!

 **Ballad:** Honestly, this is probably something his father should take care of…but, then, he’s not normally home, so…

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone wants to get to know Ballad, I have an [askblog](https://askballadexe.tumblr.com/) dedicated to him and his operator so you can go check that out if you like.


End file.
